my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
