What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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