ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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