Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
