Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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