He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
