I must be too annoying 4 u.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
