You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
