I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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