I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
