ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
