My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
