There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
His hands were made for my vagina.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
