Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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