I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize