Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
