Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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