Nicole vs. Life
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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