I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
