hell yes lets make some ravioli
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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