You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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