watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
