I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
