You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
