Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It's official drugs can't kill me
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
