yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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