Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
