We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Say something about gay babies.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
