we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
