Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
no you cant smoke seaweed
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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