I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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