i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
Randomize
