Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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