At least make sure they are 18
Why
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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