Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
