i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
