So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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