Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
