Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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