the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
