Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
