adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
