Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
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