i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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