I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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