the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
