my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
