Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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