In the future we'll all be gay
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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