420 ftw
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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