saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
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